When first coming to Germany, foreigners are often startled by the sheer amount of palpable poor taste in clothing, hair cuts, movies, art, and career choices German people display. Fortunately, your German acquaintances are still easy to sympathize with once you wrap your head around two definite facts:

1. German people invest the majority of their time and brain capacity into appearing avant-garde, edgy, artistic, and not boring, “08/15”, and square.
2. However, their biggest fear is to be labeled as “trying too hard to be special” and straying off their peer’s social norms too far.

It’s pretty obvious that these two are polar opposites. Accordingly, during the 90s, Germans were reaching a dangerous state of angst and low self-esteem once again, watching themselves labeled as stern, humor-free, and all around never being able to catch up to other nations they loved: Florida, East-Berlin, and Spain’s Mediterranean islands. Then, on the edge of yielding to despair, Germans discovered an amazing way out of their dilemma. It was a huge, game-changing revelation to them on par with the discovery of the atomic chain reaction or the combination of sausage and curry sauce: Irony.

By injecting irony in anything they do, say, or pretend to stand for, Germans suddenly were able to 1-up everybody and everything - it enabled them to be one thing and the opposite of it at the same time. Whenever criticized or called out on something, they were now able to respond by saying “Take it easy dude, I only did that ironically!”. The beauty for them was to not only come out of every situation as cool, easy-going, and “edgy”, but they were also able to 1-up you, that “complex-laden, boring person who can’t be spontaneous”. If you will, by becoming masters of irony, they “hacked the Matrix” of social interaction, becoming completely invulnerable to argument or “stuck up” concepts such as commitment, straightforwardness, or not purchasing David Hasselhoff CDs.

Now, what are the implications for you, struggling to blend in with the Germans? Use irony wherever. It’s the only way to understand and endure most of the preferences and habits Germans have. All over sudden, Berlin-Prenzlauer-Berg will make sense to you. Among German people, it’s considered the epicenter of the ironic lifestyle and moving there will make you part of the German ironic elite.

As an added bonus, your ironic approach to life will be gladly mistaken by your German friends as having a great sense of humor. You will be able to really socialize with them, and become emphatic of things they treasure, like gay Star Trek parodies, riding a skateboard after turning 30, or pieces of clothing with huge prints on them.

A word of warning - while theoretically irony may enable you to emerge as the winner of any argument, it is important to remember that you will not be able to justify stuff German people entirely disapprove of, i.e: Tasty food, clothing without visible logos, the Unites States of America, not being able to deejay techno music, or living in a house built after 1920.