February 2012
60 posts
6 tags
10. Soft drinks
Prior to boarding your flight to Germany, it’s probably a good idea to have a last bottle of Coke (or Pepsi). Sure, Coke is also available in Germany, but being caught buying or drinking it in Germany is akin to walking into a Japanese living room with fresh rat feces on your shoes. You would lose face forever. Double forever if you’re American (yes, in spite of Barack Obama). In Germany, it is a...
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9. City-Special: Hamburg
Some German areas and their inhabitants necessitate a more thorough analyzation in order to find a tactic approach on how to blend in. So once in a while, this blog will take a closer look at specific places.
Let’s start with Hamburg. First, some facts: It’s the 2nd largest city in Germany (roughly 1,700,000 people “live” there), and officially the most boring and suburban big city in the...
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8. Audio-visual media
An essential part of any German person’s life is the consumption of huge amounts of audio-visual media. Actually, German people quickly experience a feeling of uneasiness when they are not able to consume audio-visual media for a prolonged period of time. In their constant battle to become more interesting to other people, they are putting a massive effort into being knowledgeable about the...
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7. Christmas
As you probably noticed, your German acquaintances have recently become even more confused and passive-aggressive than they usually are. To understand this behavior, one must know that Christmas is a very delicate and challenging festivity for Germans. At no other time of the year is the gap between the image they aim to portray and their reality wider than at Christmas. The tenseness is due to...
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6. Cafes
Germans love to drink lots of Italian coffee specialties, have seven hour long breakfast sessions on the weekend, and stare at people they do not know. There is no better place to combine all these activities than a Cafe. Hence, German people are constantly striving to maximize the time spent in Cafes, or Lounges, which are Cafes made up to look like the waiting zone of an airport. As slouching...
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5. Confused, dark-haired girls
When socializing with German people, you already know it is a bad idea to suggest watching TV together. For Germans, most TV is a never-ending, unendurable sequence of well-groomed normal people who are still holding up boring, mainstream ideals like personal hygiene. There are two exceptions from the No-TV rule, though. One is for TV dramas that are catering to the left-leaning American middle...
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4. Finding an apartment
As globalization progresses, inhabitants of poorer countries are catching up to the living standards of the western world. Citizens of India, South America, and some Asian countries are tearing down their ramshackle buildings and get themselves nice new homes as soon as they can. All over the world, it’s a no-brainer that you would rather live in a building with a water-tight roof, working...
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2. Personal finances
One important thing to understand about Germans is that all Germans are very well-off, monetarily speaking. You might be tempted to reply “that’s not true, I know a lot of Germans who never seem to have any money on them and can’t afford even small things”, but don’t mistake this as an indicator of their actual net worth.
The moral dilemma Germans are in, is that they consider people who have...
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3. Irony
When first coming to Germany, foreigners are often startled by the sheer amount of palpable poor taste in clothing, hair cuts, movies, art, and career choices German people display. Fortunately, your German acquaintances are still easy to sympathize with once you wrap your head around two definite facts:
German people invest the majority of their time and brain capacity into appearing...
9 tags
1. Going to the movies
When you’re new in Germany, you might think it’s a good idea to invite some Germans to the movies so you can socialize with them and maybe make new friends. Be careful though - going to the movies is an undertaking that is not to be taken lightly when in Germany. Some meticulous planning has to take place beforehand. For Germans, it is very important where they watch a movie. Maybe more...
